Like, no more clean underwear as a trivial example, and, letвЂ™s be honest, lots less sex than he might like as a fairly serious one. If a wife wants her husband to notice something, she has to do, or, much more likely, NOT do, something that he then experiences as pain or inconvenience. They only notice discomfort and problems that happen to THEM. Maybe some men do, but too many men donвЂ™t.

Yeah, thatвЂ™s great in theory, but this expects men to notice things. Oy, just do everything to serve him and heвЂ™ll turn right around and do the same. So what should I do? Where can I turn to find mature believers? Jesus certainly experienced SO much more rejection. I genuinely feel alone like Job, Noah, and Elijah (when he was in the cave, feeling rejected). I am asking this question in light of your personal experience (as a family) вЂ“ not being able to trust most leaders, backlash from вЂњchurches,вЂќ lack of Christ-like love, covering up and diminishing sin. I love that your family recently spoke about your year of church homelessness and BeccaвЂ™s righteous indignation (LOVED IT!!!:) about the people in the pews being the ones to follow Christ, instead of the leaders. I certainly donвЂ™t aim for perfection in others, but do expect myself and all who call themselves followers of Jesus to take up our cross and die to self, demonstrating active love for others. It happens time and again, even though IвЂ™m trying to be gracious and hope for the best. I donвЂ™t attend church (though IвЂ™d love to feel like I am loved and belong!), as IвЂ™ve been to many different Evangelical churches (all different denominations) and have been completely discouraged by the terrible examples of ChristвЂ™s love IвЂ™ve witnessed. My parents were high-profile вЂњChristiansвЂќ and had every person fooled, on the outside. And I also havenвЂ™t been impressed with the selection of psychologists IвЂ™ve been to, either.

However, I find myself TERRIFIED to trust any вЂњChristianвЂќ who is also spiritually abusive.

The Honeymoon Course! Start Your Marriage (and your Sex Life) off Well!ДЄs someone who grew up with horrendously abusive parents and has cut them off from any future opportunity to harm me (best decision of my life), I need an older man/woman in my life that I can lean on.

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